Friend.

I've hid this from myself for almost three months. Maggie I miss you and I wish your life could have been better cause you were nothing but a sweet, little girl to me. I hope you had happier days with me when you had consistencies. Even when losing your eyesight you were a trooper. 

I just wish I could of been there for you like I was for Jake. You were a great friend to me when I was at my worst. Miss you. 

Mistakes.

Kinda wish I could disappear sometimes and not from you or you or you, but from you and you. Feeling like I was being selfish towards people I truly care about. Waking up last night trying to calm myself down knowing it may never be the same. I never used you and I wish you would understand that, but I shouldn't of been ignorant to the fact that you were there for me and helped me more than I asked you too. And you, I get a sickening feeling I just lost you in the mist of it all. The poking and laughing just seem to fade away. 

As I sit here typing this out trying to hold back these tears again, I can't help but honestly tell myself that I deserve this.