you're up and you're down.

it's the rituals and the instant gratifications, gets me everytime. i need to grow up.

split ends.

sometimes i wish i had a better relationship with my brother.
then i remember all the times he terrorized me with i was little.
oh well.

every single time.

i hate being overally sensitive. my mind thinks that if i'm nice to everyone there is no possible way for negativity to bother me. naive i know, but i'm so tired of hating and judging people. i just really want some positivity in my life. forgive and forget you know? i've been having this feeling that i'm getting taken advantage of because of my push-over attitude. it sucks. i try really hard to give people a chance.


i hate small towns. i think i need to go home for awhile.

oops.

once again i was the last to know about the time change.
stupidstupidstupid.

100.

yuma high school turns 100 today, and as i think back, i hated and i enjoyed it.
i remember [before the teen-aged angst set it] friday nights, going to football games to see my brother play and just feeling a sense of pride. it's weird thinking about that now that i've graduated from there and has moved so far away. i had a lot of rough times at that school [mostly personal] but there wasn't a day that i wished i was going to school somewhere else.
i regret being so introverted and revengeful while i was there. my experience could have been really different.
as for a class reunion? ten is too early, twenty would be just right.

yummy yummy i got love in my tummy.

my favorite so far.

a close second.

internet fun.

this:
gmail

that:
heat surge


what?

what?

my mom just emailed me a survey about herself......
?
i am very confused. she wants me to fil it out and email it back to her.
i think she wants me to visit soon [just guessing].

other note:
i have been sick. weather has been changing like crazy and my poor thin blood can't take it! i have a feeling i'm gonna be in line with all the old people to get a flu shot this year. blargh!


pss?
my medicine has strongly influenced this entry.

i don't

recommend dxm.
even if you are sick with a cold.
hot peppermint tea and saltines work wonders.


++
i'm sorry that palin has to play the sympathy card with mentioning her daughter, bristol, and her special needs child. she is trying to shadow the fact that she doesn't really have a clue about foreign policy [being close to russia doesn't make you an expert] and that mccain has been tutoring her from day one. she's just puppet. i would even go as far as calling it a political stunt just to raise mccain's women vote. i am truly offended by this.
biden did a wonderful job tonight. he was calm and collected [unlike mccain in the first debate] he mentioned multiple changes that need to be done with the economy and with the war. i can't say that i approve of obama wanting to take a 'closer' look into pakistan and afghanistan, or the fact that they want to meet with foreign leaders without preconditions is kinda scary. they both seem to have their own views on renewable energy and dependency from foreign oil. palin wants to build a pipe line in alaska, she's been talking about how it is one of her biggest accomplishments since being a governor.
washington post:
"But while her style has been minutely analyzed, very little commentary has focused on one of the few substantive claims she made about her brief tenure as governor of Alaska: that she "fought to bring about the largest private-sector infrastructure project in North American history . . . a nearly $40 billion natural gas pipeline to help lead America to energy independence."
that's insane. last i heard they haven't even really started on it which congress passed it in 2004! and of course, most of the natural gas resources we have are owned by big oil companies.
i guess what i wanted to say was i'm okay with foreign oil until we can perfect the use for renewable energy in america. obama is making that his first priority in his campaign and that is why i support him.


samantha bee cracks me up.

vacation.

my spam mail really really wants me to visit cancun, mexico. out of the 900+ spam emails i got, 800 or so of them were:
"Cancun Vacation - Experience 4 Nights in Beautiful Cancun - Free "
rest were:
"FBI Recruitment - Fight organized crime and prevent terrorism"
that's what i get for neglecting to check my email regularly.

whyisthisgray.

:[

jake has bitten part of his tail off.
i don't know why or what's wrong with him. i have an appointment in an hour.

>>
not having him here is really strange.
surgery, infection, xanax.

times are tough.

we'll get through it.

my favorite boss quit today.

best purchase ever.

bad habit.


giant owl lamp.

i'm tired.

finally.

and i finally ripped my favorite pants.

cats and dogs i tell you!

it's been raining for four days straight. i enjoy the rain but when the sun hasn't come out for days, i tend to get pissy. there is suppose to be sun tomorrow and monday, but then again it'll rain again [thank you ike.]
all is going well. not sure when i want to visit home[ before it snows?]
also! i plan on putting photos up soon, but of course, i always say that.

reminder:
cat food
windshield wipers
tp!
new couch!

even though...

all the animals went to the vet the other day.
2 dogs,
2 cats.
ear infections, fleas, worms, allergies...
3 hours later i was wiped. i called mom to talk to her about the bill and
lo and behold [dun dun dunnnnn] they bought another bloodhound.

bayley lou, born on saint patties day.

i'm a little mad they couldn't have jake and friskers at their new house but they can go out and buy a new dog. plus they still have beau.
ugh. kinda unfair but i'm glad they're with me because i have a feeling they were neglected while i was gone.

my new job is still going well and i really need a hair cut.

dundundunnn...

i have a job. exciting no?

during orientation, the other new girl had her first seizure. pretty scary. hopefully she'll be okay.

picture a day for 39 years.

marker.

my heart feels heavy.
and cracks are taller than i am.

don't laugh.

stumble on.

pretty awesome.
nice portraits.
always fun.
rofl.
keep an eye out for 2009!

it's a start.

something that makes me happy
[no particular order]

song;; artist :

reasons to love you;; meiko
objects of my affection;; peter bjorn and john
hooplas involving circus tricks;; say hi to your mom
that can be arranged;; tom vek
a little word in your ear;; tom vek
on the road;; tom vek
cold cold water;; mirah
heard it all before;; meiko
outta my head;; m. ward
milk and honey;; as tall as lions
la familia;; mirah
peach and yellow;; peggy honeywell
in love with a view;; mojave 3
black comedy;; bright eyes
birds;; dios
so long;; rilo kiley
disarm;; smashing pumpkins
anabel;; midlake


i plan on expanding and adding links to some of the songs...hopefully.
enjoy.

clutter.

it still looks really cluttered. i'm trying to fix it but my eyes are really tired. tomorrow, maybe.

secret sauce.

i play too much gta, but sometimes it doesn't feel like i play enough. yikes. i'm selling my WoW account to someone, hopefully. i hate to see it go because i did spend so much time on it but then again it was wasted time. i use to get a gratifying feeling from it but since i've stopped playing it was just really silly that i let myself get wrapped up in that. oh well.

i'm feeling

down. this town is too small.

list:
clean
clean
and pretty much clean.

why?

we caught a cat. large orange cat, i presumed was a neighbor's cat because of his size. i let him go. he had a bite mark behind his ear, typical cat fight. i didn't want to assume he was a stray because he was so friendly.

it felt good letting him go.
>>i told you so.

sometimes i miss yuma....

then i read this:

http://yuma.craigslist.org/rnr/

as i always say..

i'll do it tomorrow.

dun dun dunnnn...

if there's anyway i can add fuel to the fire just let me know.
i love confrontations.

as a reference.

he started to work on his old motorcycle.
i don't know how many times i've tried to convince him that he just needs to fix it because gas is so expensive now. we'll see today.

boston celtics won, wooooop!

list.

remember:

cat food
cat litter
clean house
exercise

golly gosh.

how do i say this...
i'm trying not to be a giant bitch around people. this happens alot.
for some reason it'll just take one thing [comment or whatnot] to be totally turned off to what we were doing. BLRAGH!
something else.
i'm losing my will to excerise everyday. i was doing really good until i had that strawberry milkshake [absolutely delicious] which set me on a two day fast food binge. BLRAGH!

i don't even know what to do today. i'm getting really bored.
oh well.

bored.

it's been pretty boring as of late. maybe i should get a job, maybe not. it still feels like there is stuff i have yet to do too.



it's so humid today.

yikes.

i need a new layout.

i heart dial soap.

got a new piercing. hopefully i can keep it longer than a month.

maybe.

i painted something and it actually came out half decent. how exciting for me.

i don't want to work at a factory.

it says:

messy, depressed, introverted, feels invisible, does not make friends easily, nihilistic, reveals little about self, fragile, dark, bizarre, feels undesirable, dislikes leadership, reclusive, weird, irritable, frequently second guesses self, unassertive, unsympathetic, low self control, observer, worrying, phobic, suspicious, unproductive, avoidant, negative, bad at saving money, emotionally sensitive, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, submissive, daydreamer.

i think it's pretty close.

it's in everything you do.

i'm tired of this life.
tomorrow, i will get so high and i will paintpaintpaint.
or something along the lines.

i'm pissing my last check on drugs. sounds like a good idea.

i'm loving life right now.

yippy.

i finally reclaimed my blog after 3 years.