once again another night without blissful sleep. the weather wrapping around my toes, causing them to curl in with pain. i listen to the fan, i watch the street light flicker, together they allow me to sleep somewhat. when i awake they're both there for me, something to rely on i suppose.
so again, i'll watch the street light flicker. i'll make out the unusual shapes and shadows. i'll close my eyes, listen to the hum.
i've dreamt several times about a man. couple years older, maybe younger. pushing me on a swing, i'm holding his hand through the snow, he's sitting with me on a bench. he always offers me something comforting. something i cherish in my dreams. how i wish i could make out your face. how i wish i could. everytime i look, its always empty. when i take my bath. i always wonder, maybe if i just slip under i'll see your face and we'll always be together then. but i never want to wait that long. just me being selfish i guess.
when i was a baby. weird as it sounds. i can remember when i almost died in my sleep. i was in such a deep sleep that i drifted off and stopped breathing. mom said i wasn't breathing and my heart stopped. she woke me by tickling my feet. i love her.
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